A Letter to my Childless Self

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Dear Childless Esther, The other day I thought of you. I took a deep breath and remembered the pain and depression. Back then it was a constant, it was who you were. It felt like a cold stabbing pain. I don’t think you were aware of how much you were hurting because you were too […]

What Happens After Your Dreams Come True?

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Well it has been almost a year since I posted anything here. I have shared a lot on social media but I need to share what has happened in this past year. Kenny has been such a wonderful addition to our family. The time watching him grow and develop into such an amazing little human […]

2017: The Year that God Redeemed

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Looking back it is easy to say that 2017 was a hard year. There was a lot of pain and uncertainty. It is easy to focus on the sad things that happened. And while I look forward to 2018 I will forever think of 2017 as the year that God Redeemed.

Hope does not disappoint

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I have cried out to God so many times and He has heard me. 
The answer was to trust in Him. 
I have not trusted Him nearly enough but thankfully my amount of trust doesn’t dictate His amount of faithfulness. 

All For Love

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We are coming closer to the baby’s due date and we are doing this one last raffle for a LÍLLÉbaby carrier. However this time the winner gets to pick which carrier they want. That’s right you get to pick from the in stock carriers (excluding the Woven collection) on the LÍLLÉbaby website which one you want to take home if you win the raffle.

What I Always Thought I Would Be

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When I was little I was never one to dream of being a teacher, a nurse, or an astronaut. I only dreamed of being a mom. In High school I knew I wanted to be a wife and mother. I went to culinary school because I love to cook but I knew I didn’t want […]

Love Carries Us

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When our last adoption placement failed we clung to the hope that God always has a plan for us. That while we didn’t understand why, that He would bring good out of this situation. His love carried us and continues to do so as we now pray for this new baby boy and the expectant […]

Every Boy Needs A Sidekick

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One day we were in the car and Mac (3 1/2 years old) asked me where our baby was. I told him that the expectant mom decided to have the baby stay with her. We had talked about this before a couple of times but this time he seemed to understand it more. His response was very surprising. He said we just have to wait for God to give us a baby. 

The Certainty of God’s Plan

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I’m not going to lie. The past 2 weeks haven’t been easy. The expectant mom delivered her baby and decided not to place him for adoption and is choosing to parent him. When I was first told this news I felt like I was being suffocated. It took me at least 2 days to get […]