People say that the second time you do something is “easier”. While this might be true for most things, I think when you are expecting a child nothing could be further from the truth. Whether you are pregnant or adopting, each experience is going to be different with each child. While you now have an idea of what will happenit still doesn’t necessarily make it easier.
First you have less time to get stuff done because your first child needs you. We opted out of having a garage sale like we did last time because I just don’t have the time to dedicate to it like I did before MacMillan was born. Sewing for my fundraisers is much harder to get done and I am just plain tired after he goes to bed.
Second you still have the physical/mental stresses of being pregnant or adopting. While some people might think that someone who is adopting will not have physical stress, I must say I wish that was true. I always internalize my stress so it usually manifests itself through my health. Some days I feel great while other days I feel like a truck ran over me. Praying and watching my diet definitely help and while it is not the same as being pregnant you still have all the thoughts about the baby that a woman who is expecting does. It occupies probably at least half of my thoughts if not more. Each day I try to give it to God in prayer. I know He has a plan for us, our child and the birth family.
Third you have something to compare it to. Sometimes that is good sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes things go smoothly the first time and you have a hard time dealing with it not being that way the second time around.
I really could make a long list of why it’s not always easier. But the good thing is you know the joy of having a child and what comes at the end. The feeling of holding that baby in your arms keeps you going. To see the smile on your husband’s face, to know the pride and happiness your parents have for you, it’s all worth it in the end.
So today, I am stressed out. I am constantly trying to find ways to fundraiser, save and to be prepared for whenever our baby comes into our lives. However, I know that I have a God that is faithful. His assurance is all that I need to make it through the hard days and that is what makes it easier.
Lamentations 3:22-24 The Lords lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail.They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.The Lord is my portion, says my soul, Therefore I have hope in Him.