Well it has been almost a year since I posted anything here. I have shared a lot on social media but I need to share what has happened in this past year.
Kenny has been such a wonderful addition to our family. The time watching him grow and develop into such an amazing little human has been joyful.
However the adoption process had some bumps and we experienced some loss of loved ones early in the year. As I was working on processing our failed adoption and addition of a new baby to our lives my anxiety worsened and depression decided to join it around February. I poured everything I could into my boys and home life with nothing left to help anyone else, much less myself. I love helping others and it was so painful to not be able to.
My goal for this year was to help one foster family a month. My big goal was to start a foster closet at our church. In January, my dad (who is the pastor of my church) and I went to check out another foster closet so we could see how they ran things and what we could do with the space we had. I wanted to do it but when the anxiety and depression took hold it was so hard to get motivated. Anxiety kept asking me all the what ifs and Depression told me I was too tired and couldn’t do it.
Always a logical person, I fought hard against the anxiety. Anxiety took the form doing the same things over and over, watching the same shows no matter how much I wish I could watch something else. Going to the same places and seeing the same people. I was determined to break free. When we finally found out that we had a date for Kenny’s adoption to be finalized I felt some relief. I set to work to get the foster closet started.
I have learned through all of this to be more realistic with my goals and plans. I determined what I could do and did that. Our church and community came together and we opened the foster closet in the middle of June. Friends came beside me and helped me and together it became a reality.
Anxiety and depression taught me that I have to ask for help. So I did. It has never been something I want to do. I never want to disappoint people or not get it done, but they made me realize I need the help of others. And if other people are disappointed sometimes that is ok.
We finalized Kenny’s adoption at the end of July. I held it together pretty well during court. But I finally felt relief from all the anxiety and depression that had been gripping me for months. I burst out sobbing in the hallway of the courthouse. I am not that person. But the weight had been so hard to bear. I knew I could finally breathe again and that my boy was always mine now.
Life has been good despite my internal struggles. We are so blessed. Kenny is the sweetest of boys with a flair for drama if you don’t give him food you are eating.
The foster closet is growing and getting more community support. We are reaching so many foster families I cannot keep count. It is what I dreamed of and more. I have big plans for next year and what we can do to support families beyond the material needs.
So the Dupree Family party of 4 is blessed, happy and healthy. What happens after your dreams come true? Sometimes its harder than you thought but also teaches you how to be a better version of yourself.