After being diagnosed with infertility and trying some treatments, I went through a pretty rough depression. There are months I can’t even recall because I just let the days wash over me and went through the motions of life.
When we came to the decision to adopt I asked God to help me accept this new plan for our life. I felt like I had never wanted something more than I wanted a child. If His plan was for me to be a mother by adoption, I wanted to embrace it with my whole heart. The Lord heard my prayer and helped heal my broken heart. He took away the bitterness and sadness that used to overwhelm me when I saw everyone around me having babies. He opened my eyes to all of the things He was able to use me for while I was waiting on Him.
While we have been waiting to be matched I still have had a level of sadness that has not gone away. Just the empty feeling of being a mother without a child. But with this recent blessing of being picked by a birth mother the Lord has put a new song in my heart.
Psalm 40:1-3Â I waited patiently for theÂ Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry.Â He lifted me out of the slimy pit,Â out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rockÂ and gave me a firm place to stand.Â He put a new song in my mouth,Â a hymn of praise to our God.Â Many will see and fear theÂ LordÂ and put their trust in Him.
Psalm 28:6-7Â Praise be to theÂ Lord,Â for He has heard my cry for mercy.Â Â TheÂ LordÂ is my strengthÂ and my shield; my heart trustsÂ in Him, and He helps me.Â My heart leaps for joy,Â and with my song I praise Him.
I finally feel like my self again. The part of me that felt empty, is now full of the love for our child. The verse that I took the name of our blog from is so comforting to me and expresses how I feel.
James 1:17Â Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.
Recently , The Afters, put out a song called Every Good Thing that really makes me smile.
With a new song in my heart and the ever-present thought of Our Little One being on his way, I finally am feeling the joy that only the Lord can bring to a heart that was broken.
Whatever your problem is take it to God in prayer. He might not answer exactly the way that you want but you can trust Him knowing that the plan that He has for you will have you singing a new song.
My plan is to re-read this latest entry a few more times. I absolutely love to see God move in the lives of His people, especially among His choice servants.