When It Is Hard to Comprehend

Posted · 3 Comments

Today has been a great day. I have shared in the joy of a friend’s news of pregnancy, visited a friend who is adopted and generously supported our adoption, had lunch with my best friend Erin, visited another friend who supported us during our recent fundraiser, enjoyed some delicious jerk chicken with Husband and my little brother Kenny J, had some great laughs, and came to a wonderful realization.

The realization I came to is beyond explanation. I must say that it started to come to me during my devotions. Reading Genesis 24:12-27 I saw the prayer of a man who prayed believing. Before he had finished his prayer the Lord answered it. I thought about this more while on my jog this morning. It is important to pray believing. It demonstrates our trust in God. It takes us out of the equation. It acknowledges that we are not in control. Pray believing.

Matthew 21:21-22   And Jesus answered and said to them,”Truly I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and cast into the sea,’ it will happen. And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.”

It is hard to comprehend what God is capable of. As humans we have so many failings, yet God has none. He can move mountains. He can create life. He can heal. Nothing is impossible with God.

While talking to my friend I finally came to the full realization of what God has been trying to teach me during these past 6 years as I suffered with infertility. His plan and purpose for me was so much greater than getting pregnant. He guided me and changed the painful circumstance into an opportunity to help children, to further His gospel through Operation Christmas Child, and to seek out the child He has chosen for me, through adoption. It’s not me that is great or good, it is God.

As I stand at the “end” of this circumstance I see the good instead of the pain. I see how His plan unfolded in a beautiful way. I see how giving me a painful condition like Trigeminal Neuralgia made me be more compassionate and caring of others.

When we have struggles, pain, sickness and tragedy in life it is hard to understand the Lord’s plan. It is easy to be angry at God. To blame Him. But He is perfecting us.

James 1:2-4  Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

God is good. He understands our pain and is with us in it. He will use it to His glory if you let Him.

Take a moment to watch this music video “Who You Are” by JJ Heller. It spoke to me the way the verses I read this morning did.  This lyric especially “Sometimes, I don’t know what you are doing. But I know who you are.” 

3 Responses to "When It Is Hard to Comprehend"
  1. Wava says:

    Esther, this is beautiful. Thank-you for sharing this today. I needed to remember this. So much wisdom from a young heart. I know it comes from God’s heart to yours. Praying for you as you continue your journey of adoption. Excited for you to meet your little one some day. They will be blessed to call you mom and dad. Blessings and love to you both.

  2. Lydia says:

    So well said Esther! You have such a strong faith and outlook. I admire that so much! Thank you for this: As I stand at the “end” of this circumstance I see the good instead of the pain. I see how His plan unfolded in a beautiful way. Perfectly stated!

  3. Rita Mertens says:

    Dear Esther… let me know if there is anything I can help you to ease physical pain… I have had this once before, many years ago, and I was able to get well from it. check my webpage and see what I do… and maybe I will be able to help you… I am a Pay it forward person… take care… God Bless you

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