It is hard to wait. Infertility still hurts me even though I feel called to open adoption. Lately that wait has hurt a little bit more.
As I rocked him I thought this could be the last time I rock you sweet boy, or just another night holding my boy close.
Most people don’t find it exciting anyway or at least they don’t express that to me, so I rarely tell them how I really feel. Because no one wants to hear that you are sad and frustrated about your adoption process. They just want to hear the happy.
If you have ever back carried a child in a baby carrier you know that sometimes the waist belt can dig in when you have to tighten it.
I have been exclusively back carrying Mac for more than a year now. The heavier he gets the more important it is that my belt position is not moving.
I was pretty excited when this new accessory came out from Líllébaby.
I am not sure why this is the case but we all know it’s true.
I know it’s not just me. I know I am not the only one that feels this way. Even though I felt proud of myself today, I think in the back of my mind of all the moms that have it harder than me.
I am happy to change to diapers and to embrace life as a mother. It really has been what I always wanted. But it left me feeling very alone as a stay at home mom at the age of 34.
One of the many reasons that Mac’s birth mom chose open adoption was because she wanted her sons to know each other and be friends. Her heart’s desire was for them to have a close relationship. When we agreed to an open adoption, we made a commitment to make sure they had every opportunity possible to build this type of relationship.
We need to be the fun moms (dads and grandparents). As families we will burn out if we spend day in and day out in the same grind with no family fun. We need to enjoy our children and experience the joy that is their childhood.