I am a planner. I like to be prepared. We have pretty much everything needed to welcome our Little One when he is born. We still need some things but we have the important stuff. I have even been reading What to Expect in the First Year on my Kindle. But I know that no matter what I do, buy or read I will never be prepared for the emotions and reality of being a mother.
When you are pregnant you have the constant reminder that you are going to be a mother. They are there inside of you, growing and moving. When you are adopting all you can do is wonder. You wonder how your baby is and what he is doing. Whether your adoption is of a newborn, a toddler or an older child you still want to be connected to them while you are waiting. During these days I thank God for giving me a strong spirit and the ability to rest in His arms.
The waiting we have been doing, Â while suffering through years of infertility, has not prepared me for this. The waiting for our Little One to be born and in our arms makes me ache. It takes everything out of me. I cannot comprehend what it will be like when I finally hold him. All I can imagine is that the pain and frustration of the past years will be flipped inside out and the quiet and reserved part of myself will overflow with feelings of joy and excitement.
Nothing I have experienced in life will prepare me for the reality of being a mother. I can’t wait.