I became a mom at the age of 34. This of course wasn’t my plan. I watched for years as my friends and family had kids. We found out about our infertility and after trying a small about of treatments we moved on to adoption. All the while my friend’s kids grew up. So when I finally became a mom I found myself as the odd woman out. My friends are dealing with preteens and elementary school and I am changing diapers. I am happy to change to diapers and to embrace life as a mother. It really has been what I always wanted. But it left me feeling very alone as a stay at home mom at the age of 34.
I knew some other new moms, most of who are at very least 5 years younger than me. Many of them have jobs and not a lot of time to socialize during the day which is when I am usually available. Even some moms that I know that are my age and had babies or young kids were so busy with their older kids that they didn’t have time to hang out. So I found myself needing to make some new stay at home mom friends.
Faith came into my life at a time where I was feeling very lonely. MacMillan was almost one and I posted on Facebook basically a cry for help. I was tired of pretending that I was always happy, when really I felt isolated and alone. Faith’s husband and I grew up on the same street as kids and he had suggested once before that Faith and I should meet. Her older boys were in school and our babies were only 5 days apart. She reached out to me on Facebook that day and the following Saturday I stopped by a craft show she was at and talked to her. We got along well immediately.
Faith and I started a great friendship from that point. We have similar yet different personalities but share so many interests that we always had lots to talk about. She would come over for a couple of hours about once a week or we would meet up at the park. Sometimes we would go on outings but mainly just hung out while I sewed or did my dishes and the kids played. We could text each other our frustrations and funny things the kids did during the week. Faith quickly became one of my best friends.
But then life happened. Her husband was on the hunt for a better job with good benefits for their family. He found a great one in Minnesota where they used to live. So last month I said goodbye to my friend and her family. MacMillan said goodbye to his first best friends too as Mae and Link became such a big part of his life. Let me be honest. It stinks. But I am sad for me and for MacMillan. He tells me all the time that he wants to see his friends and that he misses them. But I am happy for them. I know that this was the best thing for their whole family.
While I still text Faith and we share the ups and downs of life long distance style, it’s not the same. I know she will be sad when she reads this post but I miss my friend. It is not easy to make friends as a stay at home mom. You have to find someone who you click with and that your kids get along too.
So while I know I won’t find another friend as awesome as her, I am praying that I find someone who can hang out with a lonely (almost 37 year old) stay a home mom like me sometimes and who’s child isn’t scared of playing with my giant toddler.