I Am NOT Defeated.

Posted · 5 Comments

I have been diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome). This is nothing new. I was diagnosed years ago. Many women with infertility find that this is the cause of it. To say the least, it is a huge bummer. One thing I have struggled with, because of it is weight loss.   Of course, I would love to say it had nothing to do with me not exercising, but that would most definitely be a lie. I am a procrastinator. I didn’t make exercise a priority. I felt defeated and tired wishing that I could lose weight. 

For the past 29 days I have made a huge change, I decided that I am NOT Defeated. I have repented of my laziness (although not completely of my procrastination) and have been taking steps to eat healthier. At my sister in law Becky’s invitation, I started using the app myfitnesspal on my phone. This has been a huge help to me, as I am a very competitive person. I am not really competing with anyone else though, just myself. So far I have lost 12.5 pounds! I still can’t believe that number is real. I am so happy. As I procrastinator, I must admit, that putting off exercising and counting my calories definitely did not pay off.

No one can make you want to lose weight, to change a habit, to eat healthier, or to strive for a better life. No one but yourself. Until I decided that I was not going to be defeated by PCOS and my laziness, nothing was going to happen. I recently read a quote on Pinterest that said “Discipline is just choosing between what you want now, and what you want the most.” What I want the most is to be healthier. To look in the mirror and see the same image I see in my mind’s eye.

One of my favorite bands is Relient K and their song “For The Moments I Feel Faint” is in my playlist for when I work out. It is a great motivator and is often how I feel. Without the Lord I cannot do anything. I cannot reach my goal of weight loss, I cannot  walk/jog a faster mile, and I cannot get my behind off the couch to put the shoes on. He is with me in the biggest things and the smallest and without Him I am nothing.

“For The Moments I Feel Faint”

Am I at the point of no improvement?
What of the death I still dwell in?
I try to excel, but I feel no movement.
Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?[Chorus:]
Never underestimate my Jesus.
You’re telling me that there’s no hope.
I’m telling you you’re wrong.

Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong

I throw up my hands
“Oh, the impossibilities”
Frustrated and tired
Where do I go from here?
Now I’m searching for the confidence I’ve lost so willingly
Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear


I think I can’t, I think I can’t
But I think you can, I think you can
I think I can’t, I think I can’t
But I think you can, I think you can
Gather my insufficiencies and
place them in your hands, place them in your hands, place them in your hands

5 Responses to "I Am NOT Defeated."
  1. Amber says:

    Beautifully written. 🙂

  2. Candace says:

    Great words of encouragement!

  3. Lydia says:

    Way to go girl!!! Keep it up!

  4. Jason says:

    I am so proud of you!! You are a wonderful girl, and and a great wife.

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